Outland Adventures

  Catfish Queen Festival ! Cast: Amanda, Chris, Katie, & Nikoli. When you think of small-town parades, visions of marching bands, kids waving flags, and a candy toss might come to mind. But the Catfish Queen Festival ? That’s a whole other universe. Imagine floats shaped like giant, glittering catfish, people in outrageous fish costumes, and an entire royal court celebrating the unlikeliest of monarchs—the freshwater catfish. Naturally, we couldn’t resist checking it out. We arrived early, wandering through the festival grounds as the air filled with the irresistible scent of fried catfish. Nikoli’s eyes immediately lit up—he was on a mission. Within minutes, he had sampled catfish nuggets, catfish tacos, and even a mysterious catfish dip served in what looked suspiciously like a mini fishbowl. He nodded at each bite with the solemnity of a professional food critic, while Chris just shook his head and muttered something about us “single-handedly supporting the catfish economy....

  Turkey Races in Tiny Town *A total work of fiction, character names are real people in our lives- every thing else is made up.* (Cast: Chris, Amanda, Emerald, and Caleb.) If you’ve ever thought you’d seen it all at a small-town festival—think again. Tiny Town doesn’t do pig races.  Nope.  They do turkey races . When we pulled into town, the hand-painted sign by the fairgrounds said it all: “Annual Turkey Trot & Gobble-Off—Welcome Racers!” How could we not stop? The lineup was fierce (and hilarious): Glitter Gobbler — My pick, naturally. She had a sparkle in her eye and the sass to match. Turbo Tom — Chris’s choice, a speedy little feathered bullet with attitude. Funnel Feather — Emerald’s pick, though honestly, she spent more time chasing snacks than racing. Cluck Norris — Caleb’s confident contender, ready to take on the world—or at least the next turkey over. When the whistle blew, chaos erupted.  Turkeys scattered in every direction—...

  The Drive-Thru Vampire Museum Cast: Amanda, Chris, Beth, Billy It started, as most of our strangest adventures do, with a billboard that was too weird to ignore. “World’s Only Drive-Thru Vampire Museum — Next Exit!” Chris slowed down just enough for me to snap a picture of the faded sign. A cartoon vampire with glowing red eyes promised “NO SUNSCREEN REQUIRED!” while pointing a plastic finger toward a gravel side road. “Please tell me we’re going,” I said, grinning. “Obviously,” Chris replied, already signaling to turn. “World’s only drive-thru vampire museum? That’s destiny.” Beth clapped her hands. “I love roadside oddities! Let’s see some vampires in minivans!” Billy, riding shotgun, groaned. “If something jumps out at us, I’m suing.” The narrow gravel road wound through overgrown trees until we reached a hand-painted sign reading “Welcome, Mortal Guests — Turn Headlights to Dim and Proceed Slowly.” Below it, another wooden board: “Admission $5 per Vehicle. Honk On...

  The Great Gnome Gathering (Cast: Amanda, Chris, Jaxon, Christina) Somewhere between “Why not?” and “Wait, is that a gnome riding a flamingo?”—we found ourselves pulling into the Annual Gnome Gathering . The park looked like a magical explosion of red hats and rosy cheeks. Hundreds of garden gnomes dotted the grass, perched on picnic tables, hung from trees, and even floated in the pond on tiny rafts. Someone had gone all in on the theme. Amanda was already giggling before she even stepped out of Wildebeest . “Chris, they have a gnome photo booth !” she said, pointing at a painted cutout where you could stick your face through a bearded hole. Jaxon, with his perfectly scruffy beard, didn’t even try to compete—but somehow ended up winning “Best Beard” anyway. The judges said it had “authentic gnome spirit.” He looked both confused and proud when they gave him a felt hat and a wooden mushroom trophy . Christina, meanwhile, made a beeline for the craft booths. By the end of th...

  🥔 The Haunted Potato Shack *A total work of fiction, character names are real people in our lives- every thing else is made up.* (Cast: Chris, Amanda, Kathleen, and Doug) Sometimes, the best detours are the ones you don’t plan. We were somewhere between “absolutely lost” and “mildly starving” when we spotted a hand-painted sign: “Fresh Veggies & Fries Ahead!” A roadside produce stand sounded perfect—stretch the legs, grab a snack, maybe pick up some sweet corn. But when we pulled into the gravel lot, it wasn’t a veggie stand at all. A sagging banner flapped in the wind, reading: “Spudtacular Screams—Idaho’s Most Terrifying Tater Experience!” Kathleen looked skeptical. “Are we really doing this?” Chris was already out of the RV, camera in hand, eyes gleaming like a kid on Halloween night. “Absolutely. Haunted potatoes? How can we not ?” The entrance was shaped like a massive baked potato, complete with fake butter oozing down the sides. A fog machine puffed out “steam,...

  UFO Days in Cornfield County 👽 *A total work of fiction, character names are real people in our lives- every thing else is made up.* (Cast: Amanda, Chris, Kagan, Paris) Sometimes the best adventures happen when you follow the weirdest signs. We were cruising along a quiet backroad when we spotted it—a hand-painted sign propped up beside a cornfield that read: “ Alien Invasion Weekend —This Way!” Chris didn’t even slow down before I said, “We’re going.” The next thing we knew, Wildebeest was rumbling toward the small town of Cornfield County, population maybe 400 on a normal day—but that weekend, it felt like every UFO enthusiast in the Midwest had landed. The whole place was glowing. Literally. Every shopfront was strung with green lights, alien cutouts peeked from behind dusty windows, and someone had transformed the old tractor into a “ spacecraft ” using duct tape, soda cans, and a questionable amount of tinfoil. A parade rolled through town led by a guy riding that...

  The Mystery of the Giant Rubber Band Ball *A total work of fiction, character names are real people in our lives- every thing else is made up.* Sometimes road trips are about the unexpected detours. You set out thinking, “We’ll just stop, stretch our legs, and grab a snack,” and suddenly you’re part of a small-town rescue operation… involving the World’s Largest Rubber Band Ball . That’s exactly what happened when we (Amanda, Chris, Haeleigh, and Trey) rolled Wildebeest into one of those quirky roadside towns you only seem to find by accident. A Bouncy Surprise At first glance, the giant rubber band ball looked like an oversized carnival prop. But something was off. Instead of sitting proudly in its display spot, the ball had toppled slightly and wedged itself against the town’s chain-link fence , threatening to roll free. Naturally, Trey—never one to pass up a challenge—was the first to put his hands on the ball and start pushing. “C’mon, guys, help me out!” he yelled. And...

  🥒 The Great Pickle Festival Detour *A total work of fiction, character names are real people in our lives- every thing else is made up.* Cast: Amanda, Chris, Lucy, Bruce You know those days when you’re just planning to grab fuel and keep rolling? Yeah… that wasn’t our day. Somewhere outside Greenleaf, we spotted a billboard that proudly declared: “Annual Pickle Festival — 3 miles ahead!” I may have shouted “We’re going!” before Chris even had a chance to object. By the time Lucy and Bruce chimed in from the back of Wildebeest, it was settled. We rolled into town to find everything — and I mean everything — decked out in green. Pickle banners, pickle balloons, pickle hats… even a dog wearing a pickle cape. Highlights: Chris dominated the Pickle Pong Challenge and was crowned Pickle King 👑 I tried pickle soda. Big regret. BIG. Lucy bought a pickle candle that smelled suspiciously like dill chips. Bruce insisted pickle soda was “once-in-a-lifetime delicious....