Sunday Funny Story #8- Catfish Queen Festival

 Catfish Queen Festival!

Cast: Amanda, Chris, Katie, & Nikoli.

When you think of small-town parades, visions of marching bands, kids waving flags, and a candy toss might come to mind. But the Catfish Queen Festival? That’s a whole other universe. Imagine floats shaped like giant, glittering catfish, people in outrageous fish costumes, and an entire royal court celebrating the unlikeliest of monarchs—the freshwater catfish. Naturally, we couldn’t resist checking it out.

We arrived early, wandering through the festival grounds as the air filled with the irresistible scent of fried catfish. Nikoli’s eyes immediately lit up—he was on a mission. Within minutes, he had sampled catfish nuggets, catfish tacos, and even a mysterious catfish dip served in what looked suspiciously like a mini fishbowl. He nodded at each bite with the solemnity of a professional food critic, while Chris just shook his head and muttered something about us “single-handedly supporting the catfish economy.”

Meanwhile, Katie somehow found herself swept up in a small ceremony at the heart of the festival. Before we knew it, she was wearing the Catfish Queen’s crown—sparkling, slightly oversized, and obviously designed for someone at least a foot taller. She strutted around like royalty, waving at bemused festival-goers, while we took dozens of pictures, trying not to laugh too hard at the absurdity. Amanda even started humming a dramatic coronation tune, which only made Katie curtsy more theatrically.

The parade itself was a spectacle. Giant catfish floats shimmered in the sunlight, complete with blinking lights, glittery scales, and occasionally a person dressed as a fisherman dangling a toy rod over the side. Marching bands played offbeat tunes, and a troop of kids in matching fish hats twirled batons in perfect chaos. At one point, a group of dancers dressed entirely in neon green scales performed synchronized leaps that somehow looked both majestic and slightly terrifying. Chris just leaned against a fence, arms crossed, muttering, “I can’t believe we live like this.”

We wandered from booth to booth, marveling at the creativity and sheer commitment of the locals. Amanda found a booth selling handmade catfish-shaped soaps, while Katie discovered a temporary tattoo stand and insisted on getting matching “Catfish Royalty” ink (it washed off, thankfully). Nikoli kept trying to convince Chris to enter the “Catfish Eating Challenge,” but Chris wisely declined, citing vague concerns about heartburn and dignity.

By the end of the day, we were sticky with festival food, wearing a slightly crooked crown, and humming the festival anthem, “Swim, Little Catfish, Swim.” The sunset painted the town in golden hues, making the glittering floats look almost magical. As we packed up and made our way back to the RV, we laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. It was messy, it was ridiculous, and it was perfectly Outland Adventures.

Festival Survival Tips (From Experience):

1. Crown Etiquette: If someone offers you a tiara, take it. Even if it’s slightly too big or sparkly enough to blind an unsuspecting passerby. You’ll regret it if you don’t.

2. Food Strategy: Fried catfish is basically a festival currency. Sample liberally, but pace yourself—you don’t want to be Nikoli-level stuffed halfway through the parade.

3. Photo Ops: Between floats shaped like giant fish and friends in crowns, you’ll want a camera ready at all times. Bonus points for dramatic poses in front of glittering catfish sculptures.

4. Festival Anthems: Don’t fight it. You will be humming “Swim, Little Catfish, Swim” for days. Embrace it.

5. Respect the Locals: These towns take their festivals seriously. Smile, cheer, and don’t eat all the catfish before anyone else gets a bite.

6. Bring Your Sense of Adventure: Above all, go in with an open mind. The weird, the wacky, and the wonderfully absurd are all part of the charm.

Follow these tips, and you’ll leave with stories that make your friends laugh, memories that stick—and maybe even a crown to prove it.

So tell us: what’s the weirdest parade you’ve ever stumbled into? And if it involved catfish, crowns, or an overenthusiastic taste tester, we need details. 🐟